Love is Blind

June 1, 2009

Robert Burton:

Every lover admires his mistress, though she be very deformed of her self, ill-favored, wrinkled, pimpled, pale, red, yellow, tan’d, tallow-faced, have a swoln juglers platter face, or a thin, lean, chitty face, have clouds in her face, be crooked, dry,bald, goggle-ey’d, blear-ey’d or with staring eys, she looks like a squis’d cat, hold her head still awry, heavy, dull, hollow-ey’d, black or yellow about the eys, or squint-ey’d, sparrow-mouthed, Persean hook-nosed, have a sharp fox nose, a red nose, China flat, great nose, nare simo patuloque, a nose like a promontory, gubber-tushed, rotten teeth, black, uneven, brown teeth, beetle browed, a witches beard, her breath stink all over the room, her nose drop winter and summer, with a Bavarian poke under her chin, a sharp chin, lave eared, with a long cranes neck, which stands awry too, pendulis mammis, her dugs like two double jugs, or else no dugs in the other extream, bloody-faln-fingers, she have filthy long unpaired nails, scabbed hands or wrists, a tan’d skin, a rotten carcass, crooked back, she stoops, is lame, splea-footed, as slender in the middle as a cow in the wast, gowty legs, her ankles hang over her shooes, her feet stink, she breed lice, a meer changeling, a very monster, an aufe imperfect, her whole complexion savours, an harsh voyce, incondite gesture, vile gate, a vast virago, or an ugly tit, a slug, a fat fustilugs, a trusse, a long lean rawbone, a skeleton, a sneaker (si qua latent meliora puta), and to thy judgement looks like a mard in a lanthorn, whom thou couldst not fancy for a world, but hatest, loathest, andwouldst have spit in her face, or blow thy nose in her bosome, remedium amoris to another man, a dowdy, a slut, a scold, a nasty, rank, rammy, filthy, beastly quean, dishonest peradventure, obscene, base, beggerly, rude, foolish, untaught, peevish, Irus daughter, Thersites sister, Grobians scholler ; if he love her once, he admires her for all this, he takes no notice of any such errours, or imperfections of body or mind. (Robert Burton, Anatomy of Melancholy, III.2.3)